Sunday, August 26, 2007

Excalibur Injured Yet Still Triumphant

Like most people, I have two hands. And, being right handed, my right hand is much more competent than my left hand. Some time ago, I named my hands so that I could refer to them as individuals, separate from myself. My left hand is called "Lazy" and my right hand is called "Excalibur".

"Excalibur" is where all the action is. It's my primary weapon in foosball. It's my throwing hand. It's my usual shooting hand in basketball. When I engage in monkey fighting, "Excalibur" does most of the work.

"Lazy" is a mere piker when compared with "Excalibur". If I had two hands like "Lazy", I would be in trouble. "Lazy" is always holding me back.

Saturday, "Excalibur" was injured in a knife fight (the knife won). Here's a picture of the damage done:

This nasty little cut is located on what some would say is the very most important part of "Excalibur", the tip of the index finger. However, like the warrior it is, "Excalibur" went into battle a mere three hours after bleeding like a swarm of fat mosquitoes in tornado.

Against my best judgment and because my team needed me (we only had 5 players including myself), I played in a basketball game. I ended with 13 points. I was 1 for 2 from the NBA 3-point line. On one play, I blocked the other team's best player, scoped up the ball, raced up the court, picked up my dribble about the 3-point line, took two huge steps, jumped, glided through the air, and hit a Dr. J style layup. Every time I shot the ball or made a pass, "Excalibur" reminded me that it was injured. However, "Excalibur" did not let me down.

I often imagine what the world would be like if I had two hands like "Excalibur". Maybe I don't only because it wouldn't be fair to everybody else. I would have to be made illegal.

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