Thursday, June 26, 2008

My Greatest Insult

Today, one of the guys at work said that I, meaning me (Greg Lange), lie more than Noam Chomsky.

That is pretty much the gravest insult I've ever received.

Noam Chomsky is a horrible person whose very milieu is the lie (and the big lie) (and the repeated lie) (and proof by assertion) (and hating the good for being good) (and advocating socialism) (and the abuse of "logic").

Noam Chomsky swims in lies. Noam Chomsky can't get out of bed in the morning without lying. Noam Chomsky's lies are cited by "scholars" to support yet more lies (the Wikipedia article says he's the eighth most-cited scholar ever). Noam Chomsky is the root of entire universe of lies.

I could spend the rest of my life lying with every word that I utter and I would not be responsible for more lies than Noam Chomsky.

If you don't know who Noam Chomsky is, you can think of him this way. Think about the most evil people that have ever lived and think of what those people have done. Think about Adolf Hitler, Pol Pot, Mao Tse-tung, Joseph Stalin, Vlad Tepes, and Immanuel Kant. Now, add Noam Chomsky to that list and you'll have Noam Chomsky properly classified in your mind.

If you'd like to stare into the face of madness, watch some of these videos.

In particular, watch this video. The key thing to watch for is at the very beginning. Do you know what he's drinking out of that tiny cup? That's right. He's consuming pure evil.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Disc Golf Victory


In an effort reminiscent of Tiger Woods' recent US Open victory, I hobbled around the O'Conner disc golf course on my sprained ankle and shot a 72. My nearest "competitor" shot a 79. That's right. I crushed them on one leg. Woot!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Any of My Readers Work in a Place Like This?

Are there really workplaces like the one described here?

There is Nothing More Beautiful Than a Sprained Ankle


People who spend their lives sitting on the couch don't get sprained ankles.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Small Danger

Astros Have a Rough Game

Check out this screenshot of ESPN's scoreboard page for the Astros/Yankees game today.

The Astros aren't doing very well. Somehow, in the 7th, they scored -1 runs. I've never seen a team score a negative run. I imagine what happened is that one of the Astros hit a home run and ran all the way around the bases in the wrong direction, that is, the player ran from home to third to second to first and then back home. That player will probably need to be coached up some. I hope it wasn't Lance Berkman.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Tess, Laughing

Gina's nieces got Tess to laugh today. This is very frustrating to me. I've tried some of my most sophisticated pieces of humor on her and I haven't even gotten a giggle.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Equipment Upgrade

I got this Wacom pen tablet tonight to help me produce my hugely popular Internet comic. Expect the quality of the art in the comic to increase dramatically and its humor content to stay unbelievable.

Monday, June 2, 2008

My Bad

In an oversight of epic proportions, I wasn't subscribed to MichaelB's blog. That has now been fixed. Unfortunately, MichaelB is scheduled to move on to a better place. That's right. He's dying. I expect his blogging to tail off somewhat.

Sunday, June 1, 2008


You Don't Mess with the Zohan

I'm going to review You Don't Mess with the Zohan without even seeing it. Here's my review:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 44 times, shame on you, again.

Here's all you need to know about Adam Sandler:

He has a 7% career rating on Rotten Tomatoes (ouch).