Greg's Blog

New Comic

2012-01-27T20:34:00.000-06:00

Star Wars Uncut: Director's Cut

2012-01-21T19:13:00.003-06:00

That's pretty cool but I have a series of jokes based on it.

Isn't that the sort of thing SOPA was supposed to stop?
That's the longest episode of "Robot Chicken" that I've ever seen.
Where was Jar Jar Binks?
Was this a remake of some movie?
Has fark.com made any other movies?

Ron Paul Quote

2012-01-13T15:44:00.001-06:00

Ideas are very important to the shaping of society. In fact, they are more powerful than bombings or armies or guns. And this is because ideas are capable of spreading without limit. They are behind all the choices we make. They can transform the world in a way that governments and armies cannot. Fighting for liberty with ideas makes more sense to me than fighting with guns or politics or political power. With ideas, we can make real change that lasts.

There are some real problems with Ron Paul. However, sometimes what he says is exactly right.

Lifts

2012-01-11T23:02:00.001-06:00

A Skyrim Detective

2012-01-11T21:33:00.002-06:00

Context Comic

2012-01-11T20:50:00.000-06:00

"Fake" English Rock Song

2012-01-11T10:20:00.002-06:00

This is pretty cool. It's supposed to give English speakers an idea of what English sounds like to people who don't speak English.

UTSA/McMurry

2012-01-10T17:52:00.002-06:00

UTSA Football is the Worst

2012-01-10T17:08:00.003-06:00

According to the ratings on the following link, UTSA will start next season as the worst FBS team:

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/sagarin/fbt11.htm

According the sorting of the ratings by conference on the following link, UTSA's conference (the WAC) will start next season as the worst FBS conference:

http://ncaabbs.com/showthread.php?tid=547586

I guess that means that UTSA is in the right conference. And, I guess that means there is no where to go but up?

UTSA First Year Highlight Video

2012-01-09T15:00:00.001-06:00

A Yellow Wood

2011-12-17T16:57:00.001-06:00

2012 WAC Football

2011-12-14T13:00:00.003-06:00

In 2012, WAC football will consist of these teams:

Idaho, Louisiana Tech, New Mexico State, San Jose State, Utah State, Texas State, and UTSA.

These teams went 36 and 47 this year (against not great competition).

Texas State and UTSA won't be full FBS members until 2013. So, their games in 2012 won't count towards the 6 needed for a team to become bowl eligible.

UTSA has just played one football season. The Alamo Dome is the only good football facility UTSA has and that's downtown, many miles from campus. However, it'll probably be the best stadium in the WAC.

Idaho plays its games in a basketball gym.

The WAC lost its best programs in the realignment shuffle and LA Tech is rumored to be an attractive target if further conference shuffling occurs. Conference USA might need to pick up a few teams, for example.

Also, according to NCAA rules, football conferences must have at least 8 members. The WAC is getting by on an exemption. They need to add another team to get to 8. If one or more teams leave the conference (maybe LA Tech and New Mexico State), the WAC would need to add 3 teams. Where are those 1 to 3 teams coming from?

Things do not look good for football in the WAC.

Maybe the WAC needs to try to merge with another conference, but who would want the picked over teams the WAC has left?

There are only 11 FBS conferences. The 6 best/biggest conferences have no need to add any of the lowly schools left in the WAC. That leaves only the Conference USA, Mid-American Conference, Mountain West Conference, and the Sun Belt Conference.

The MAC is a stable, regional conference with a footprint in the northeastern United States. It would make zero sense for them to merge with the WAC or take any of the WAC teams. That leaves the CUSA, MWC, and the Sun Belt.

The CUSA and MWC have talked merger (at least in football but possibly in all sports). The MWC has 8 schools and the CUSA has 9. The plan seems to be to play a 7 or 8 game conference schedule and have the winner on each side play in a cross conference championship game. That would result in 17 schools under one championship game (which is nice). It seems likely that at least one of those 17 schools will get pinched.

The most likely outcome seems to be that the CUSA and MWC will merge and end up with 16 schools and 2 divisions with a football championship game. They will likely shuffle schools around in a way that makes the most geographic sense. Each division will play either a 7 or 9 game conference schedule. This combined conference will probably end up with all the best schools not in the top 6 conferences and the MAC. It would be a nice little conference.

So, what's left? The Sun Belt Conference. They have (or will have) 10 football playing schools. They seem to have a few schools that might be attractive to the CUSA or MWC if those conferences (or the combined conference they likely will become) needs teams. The most attractive school in that conference is probably North Texas since it is in a large media market and it has a rather large enrollment.

What if the WAC and the Sun Belt Conference combined? What would that look like?

The combined conference would have a sustainable number of teams (17 if nobody gets poached). It would have the 12 minimum schools needed to have a football championship game. It would have 3 teams in each of Texas and Louisiana, 2 teams in each of Florida and Arkansas, and 1 team in each of 7 other states. It would have schools in the major media markets of Miami, Dallas/Fort Worth, San Antonio, and San Jose. Travel requirements for the eastern conference would be very reasonable. Travel requirements for the western conference wouldn't be as good.

The eastern conference could be made up of UA of Little Rock, Arkansas State, Florida Atlantic, Florida International, UL of Lafayette, UL of Monroe, Middle Tennessee State, University of South Alabama, Troy University, and Western Kentucky. The western conference could be made up of Louisiana Tech, North Texas, Texas State, UTSA, Idaho, New Mexico State, San Jose State, and Utah State. The championship game could rotate between a handful of places people would like to travel to, maybe Cowboy Stadium in DFW, the Alamo Dome in San Antonio, the Superdome in New Orleans, and the Sun Life Stadium in Miami.

I think it would be a nice little conference. Maybe it could play conference games at odd times to get on ESPN and ESPN 2. Maybe it could stick to conference games only being within division so that teams could schedule 4 or 5 teams each year from the better conferences. It would always be the lowest rung on the conference ladder but it would be better than two even lower rungs and it would probably result in better overall TV contracts. Neither conference right now has enough teams for a conference championship game.

Here is a map of the proposed conference footprint:

A more likely outcome than the above is that the conference realignment shuffle will eventually result in WAC becoming a non-football conference. The WAC football schools would then either have to go independent, catch on with another conference, or move down to the FCS level (maybe that's where Idaho needs to be anyway).

Maybe the Sun Belt Conference will just add Texas State, UTSA, and Louisiana Tech and let the remaining WAC teams twist in the wind. Adding just those 3 teams would seems to be a great move for the Sun Belt. It would really open up Texas for recruiting for that conference while adding the media market of San Antonio.

Dan Gilbert's Latest Letter in Comic Sans

2011-12-09T10:55:00.003-06:00

Comic sans totally makes whatever you are saying more credible and forceful, don't you think?

Abbreviations

2011-12-08T11:42:00.001-06:00

Die Penny, Die!

2011-12-07T10:55:00.002-06:00

I saw this because of SaraC and now I'm passing it on.

Lights, Camera, Disc Golf

2011-11-16T18:35:00.002-06:00

The first set of lights for my backyard disc golf practice stadium came in today. Now, I'll be able to practice disc golf whenever I want, night will be no hindrance to me.

Woot!

Hilary Mason Comic

2011-11-13T21:46:00.001-06:00

Latest Comic

2011-11-13T21:37:00.000-06:00

Logging in the Red-Black Tree Forest

2011-11-13T21:36:00.001-06:00

The Big 12 is Stupid

2011-10-28T15:54:00.003-06:00

This is what the Big 12 should do and if it doesn't, it is stupid.

Let Missouri go. They don't want to be in the Big 12.
Grab the following schools: West Virginia, Louisville, Cincinnati, Memphis, Houston, Tulane.
Bribe Arkansas with whatever money is necessary to pry them away from the SEC. Give them $30 or $40 million. Lock them into the conference for 10 years. That's only $3 or $4 million a year.
Bundle every school's Tier 3 rights into a set of regional TV networks. So, for example, something like this: A network for all Texas schools. A network for the Oklahoma schools, Kansas schools, Arkansas and Iowa State. A network for West Virginia, Louisville, Cincinnati, Memphis, and Tulane. These networks would have both regional college and high school sports programming. The revenue from these networks would go into the conference "pot" and these networks would make a ton of money.
Go to unequal revenue sharing of conference money. The most important teams get shares of 3. The next tier get shares of 2. And the last tier gets shares of 1 (sorry Iowa State). In the scenario described above, the 3's would be Texas, Oklahoma, and Arkansas. The 1's would be Iowa State and Tulane. Everybody else would be 2's. This could be adjusted as need be. And, if Iowa State didn't like this, they could go find another conference.
Have a conference championship game in football. I don't care if Texas doesn't want one. It makes a lot of money and it's a big event. If a school wants to win the national title, win the games that are on the schedule. The winner of the Big 12 championship game would almost always have to be considered for the national title game.
Go to a "pod" based system for scheduling in football and other sports. So, for example, the four pods could be (West Virginia, Louisville, Memphis, Cincinnati), (Iowa State, Kansas, Kansas State, Arkansas), (Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Texas Tech, TCU), and (Texas, Baylor, Houston, Tulane). In football, all the teams in a pod would play each other each year. Each pod would play one other pod each year on a rotating basis. So, for example, Texas would play conference games against Baylor, Houston, and Tulane every year and they would play conference games against the teams in the other pods once every 3 years.
The pod scheduling system described above would result in 7 conference football games each year. That leaves 5 non-conference games for each team. That would allow teams to schedule their "natural rivals" every year. So, for example, Texas could schedule Oklahoma and Texas A&M every year for a non-conference game (if Texas and Oklahoma were not playing a conference game).
The pod system described above would allow the Big 12 to schedule aggressively outside of conference and the Big 12 should make a commitment to do just that. Imagine Notre Dame signing a contract to play 4 Big 12 teams a year for 8 years, each team in the conference gets a shot at Notre Dame at home and on the road during that time.
Also, under the pod system, the far-flung teams would always have 3 conference games with nearby opponents. So, if these far-flung teams scheduled nearby schools for their 5 non-conference games, they would have 8 nearby opponents every year (and 2 of the remaining 4 games would be at home). That would be very good for both the athletes, other students, and fans.
Also, under the pod system, the two divisions of the Big 12 would be different each year. Special names could be given to the different divisions. So, if Texas' pod was playing Oklahoma's pod, that division could be called "Rivals Division" or "Red River Division" or something and the other division in that scenario could be called the "Riverboat Division" or something.
The conference should drop the Big 12 name. The Big 16 is an option. However, I would go for a name that didn't include the number of schools in the conference (in case the Big 12 wanted to do something crazy like go to 20 teams). A lot of good names are already taken (like Conference USA and the Mid-America Conference). I'll leave the list of possible names for this conference as an exercise for the reader.

The above conference would be awesome and it would make a ton of money. It should happen tomorrow (if not sooner). If it doesn't, the Big 12 is stupid.

The World's Worst Disc Golf Video

2011-10-28T08:51:00.001-06:00

Why upload this to YouTube?

Disc Golf Survey

2011-10-27T17:22:00.004-06:00

The Pro Disc Golf Association recently surveyed over 4,000 disc golfers.

Here are the sometimes shocking results of that survey.

Highlights include:

53 of the 4,000 disc golfers claimed to make over $250,000 per year.
Only 8.1% of respondents said they were unemployed.
The 3 most popular soft drinks among disc golfers are Coke, Dr. Pepper, and Mountain Dew. Only 16.4% said they consumed Pepsi most often.
Subway won in the fast food restaurant category with a whopping 51.5% of respondents saying they have eaten there most often.
In the mid-market chain restaurant category the amazing winner was Applebee's with a 28.0% response ratio.
Major League Baseball was the winner in the pro sport event attendance category with 49.7% of disc golfers saying they had been to a MLB game in 2010.
331 disc golfers claim to have been playing the sport for more than 25 years.
19.0% of respondents claimed to own over 200 discs.
42% of respondents say they would pay $4 to $6 to play at a really nice pay to play disc golf course.
86.6% of those surveyed own a computer.

This survey is likely to change the course of disc golf history for years to come (no exaggeration).

A Perfect Movie

2011-10-25T23:00:00.003-06:00

I think I just saw a perfect movie. Surprisingly, this movie was made in 2011, in Hollywood and Owen Wilson was one of the costars. (I kid. Wilson has made a number of movies that I like.)

The movie was positive, end to end without being sappy or stupid. All the main characters spent the entire movie chasing and choosing among different values without sacrifice. Not a single despicable character haunted the screen. Not a single "message" was added for the audience's "education". The movie took no shortcuts. The movie had a plot that didn't feel contrived.

Anyway, I was shocked to see such a movie.

Oh, by the way, the movie was "The Big Year" and starred Jack Black, Steve Martin, and Owen Wilson.

Somehow the movie only got a 40% on Rotten Tomatoes. I guess critics are stupid (like arguing with people on the Internet).

For the Record: My Use of Blogs, Social Media, and My Personal Website

2011-10-25T14:10:00.006-06:00

Twitter is fine for very short, quick messages. Anything even just slightly more substantial must be done elsewhere. My tweets are generally just random observations, updates, and pictures. I often tweet from my phone.

My personal website is where I put my most substantial content, content that I want to "endure". Having said that, I haven't added anything there recently and my personal website is in drastic need of a redesign, harsh editing, and more good content.

I use my blog to build my personal brand. If you want some "Greg Lange", that's where you need to go. My blog posts are essentially what you'd get if you had a conversation with me face to face (minus the hilarious homages I'm famous for).

I use Facebook mainly to keep up with friends and family. Also, anything I tweet gets posted to my wall over there. That's because a substantial number of people in my circle don't use Twitter but do use Facebook.

I like Google+ a lot. However, it is currently populated by "techies", social media "stars" (or "wannabes"), "hipsters", and "leftists". I don't really put much content up over there right now. I'd like to push my tweets over there easily but there doesn't seem to be a decent way to do that right now.

For The Record: Human Blood

2011-10-25T13:48:00.002-06:00

Human blood is 92% water but it tastes nothing like water or tea.

Source:

http://www.waterinfo.org/resources/water-facts

Arguing With People on the Internet is Stupid

2011-10-25T12:51:00.004-06:00

Arguing with people on the Internet is stupid. There are too many wrong people and too many people who are wrong by choice (in effect). You should just say what you think is right and move on. Maybe that's what a blog is for.

The Flat Tax is Stupid

2011-10-25T11:44:00.005-06:00

Proponents of the flat tax say that it will simplify the tax code. However, the complicated part of the tax code is not the part which determines the rate at which taxpayers are taxed. The complicated parts of the tax code are the parts that deal with:

Deductions
Treating different types of income differently
Treating different taxpayers differently

Simplifying the tax code needs to focus on removing or refining those three areas.

A flat tax would simplify the least complicated part of the tax code.

This is How I Train For Disc Golf

2011-10-22T12:37:00.001-06:00

Switcheroo

2011-10-19T20:42:00.001-06:00

Utter UTSA Football Insanity

2011-10-15T21:01:00.003-06:00

Read this.

If UTSA ends up in C-USA any time in the next 5 years (and if C-USA is essentially at the same level it is now), that would be insane.

UTSA had no football a year ago. Leaping over the Southland Conference and the WAC to C-USA in such a short time is mind boggling.

Maybe the article is just wishful thinking.

A Coworker's New Album

2011-10-15T16:13:00.001-06:00

It's all drum solos.

True Dat

2011-10-15T13:24:00.000-06:00

Tess Talks Zombies

2011-10-14T23:57:00.001-06:00

The Nobel Prize for Medicine

2011-10-06T08:30:00.000-06:00

How Much Better is Baylor Than UTSA?

2011-09-19T15:36:00.003-06:00

Because of fortuitous scheduling, we can answer this question using a little bit of football mathematics.

Baylor beat SFA 48-0. SFA beat McMurry 82-6. McMurry beat UTSA 24-21.

So, Baylor is (48 - 0) + (82 - 6) + (24 - 21) = 127 points better than UTSA.

That's probably about right. :)

More Big 12 (the Best Baylor Can Hope For)

2011-09-19T14:58:00.002-06:00

The following is the very best Baylor and the other schools left in the Big 12 can hope for:

A&M, Texas, Texas Tech, Oklahoma, and Oklahoma State all leave. The remaining schools should get as much money from the departing schools as possible. This should be in the range of 50 to 150 million dollars. This money should be split among the five remaining schools. This money could be used to pay (hopefully), the financial obligations the remaining schools have.

The Big 12 should try to position itself as the 5th best conference behind the SEC, Big 10, Pac 16, and the ACC. It should add a conference TV network. It should be renamed. And it should attempt to get to 16 schools.

Top choices include:

Cincinnati
Louisville
Houston
Memphis
TCU

Other choices include:

Air Force
Colorado State
New Mexico
North Texas
Rice
SMU
Tulsa
UA-Little Rock
UL-Lafayette
UL-Monroe
UTEP

The Big 12 should go to the unequal revenue sharing model described in a previous post.

A Big 12 with 16 schools, including the 5 remaining schools and the 5 top choices above should be able to pull in a reasonable TV contract.

This outcome is really the best Baylor can hope for.

Signs of the End of Time

2011-09-17T15:13:00.001-06:00

My New Big 12 Plan

2011-09-09T07:08:00.003-06:00

After learning some new information, I have developed a new Big 12 plan.

The new information I've learned is the following, small schools get almost no money from national TV contracts. For example, the WAC just signed a new TV deal that would result in each school getting around $300,000 a year. That's peanuts compared to what every school gets in the SEC or the Big 12.

So, disparity in TV/conference revenues is both reality and appropriate. A school like UT is more valuable to a conference than a school like Iowa State. This difference should be recognized with different conference revenue for different schools.

So, I propose that the Big 12 do the following things:

Forbid schools from having their own TV networks
Start a conference TV network with revenue from that being shared across the conference
Go to an unequal revenue sharing model
Pick a conference geographical footprint that makes sense and keeps travel times for fans and non-football sports reasonable
Grab the best schools available within that footprint while deviating from that footprint only slightly if an exceptional school is available outside that footprint
Add a mechanism for paying new members more for a few years to encourage schools to come to the Big 12
Add a mechanism for voting out schools when an upgrade becomes available (with a nice parting gift for schools voted out)
Expand to 16 teams, taking the best available schools in the conference footprint
Have two 8 team divisions with a conference championship game

The revenue sharing model could be something like this:

Schools are ranked by their relative value to the conference from 1 to 10
Schools are paid according to that rating, a 10 would get 10 times as much as 1 and 5 times as much as a 2, etc.
New schools are paid for two years at a rating that's 2 points higher than their actual rating
Schools that are voted out, are paid for two years at a rating that's 2 points higher than their actual rating after they leave the conference

So, for example, current 10's would be Oklahoma, Texas, and Texas A&M. Oklahoma State and Texas Tech might be 5's. Baylor, Kansas, and Kansas State might be 3's. Iowa State might be a 2. Using the above ratings, there would 51 shares. The three 10's would each get about 20% of conference revenue. The two 5's would each get about 10%. The three 3's would get about 6%. Iowa State would get 4%.

Using the above revenue model has many advantages. New schools can be added as necessary/possible. These schools would be paid an appropriate amount of the conference revenue. They would also receive a two year bump in revenue that would help encourage their move. Schools that were displaced from the conference because of an upgrade would be compensated by two years of increased revenue. The above model also forbids schools signing huge personal TV contracts. This is probably one of the causes of the Big 12's current difficulties.

The geographical footprint the Big 12 should take is Texas and all the states immediately around Texas (plus a state or two north of this). So, these states would be part of that footprint: Texas, New Mexico, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri, Arkansas, Louisiana, and Oklahoma. A school just outside the footprint could be considered if they make the conference significantly better.

Schools that fall into that footprint and their possible ratings include:

Arkansas, 7
Arkansas State, 1
Colorado, 7
Colorado State, 1
Houston, 3
Louisiana Tech, 1
LSU, 10
Missouri State, 1
New Orleans, 1
New Mexico, 1
New Mexico State, 1
North Texas, 2
Rice, 2
SMU, 3
TCU, 4
Texas State, 1
Tulane, 2
Tulsa, 2
UA-Little Rock, 1
UL-Lafayette, 1
UL-Monroe, 1
UTEP, 2
Wichita State, 1

The Big 12 should try to have at least one school in each state in its footprint and then add as many of the higher ranked schools as possible.

I believe the above proposal would result in a stable and prosperous Big 12, a Big 12 that has a mechanism for become better as other schools become available.

My Big 12 Plan

2011-08-25T17:36:00.003-06:00

With Texas A&M leaving, the Big 12 needs to do something. I think the Big 12 needs to:

Expand to two eight team divisions
Expand into new, large media markets
Expand into more states
Create a Big 12 network and forbid schools from having individual networks (like Texas' new network and if Texas doesn't like this they can leave the conference)
Expand in a way that makes geographic sense (travel between conference schools should be reasonable)
Expand in a way that makes economic sense.

Without A&M, the Big 12 would have 9 teams. To get to 16, 7 teams would have to be added.

The top two targets for expansion should be two SEC schools, LSU and Arkansas. The addition of these two schools would greatly improve the conference and make complete geographic and media market sense. However, luring the two away from the SEC might prove to be impossible.

The next two targets for expansion should be two PAC 12 teams, Arizona and Arizona State. These teams only make geographic sense when the rest of the plan is known. These two schools would give the Big 12 the state of Arizona. However, again, it might prove difficult to get them to leave the PAC 12.

The Big 12 should add TCU and Houston. This would give the Big 12 teams in the DFW and Houston markets. It seems likely both teams would welcome a move to the Big 12. These two schools would make great travel and geographic sense. The only downside to these schools is that they don't add more states to the Big 12's state footprint.

BYU, Colorado State, and New Mexico should be added to increase the Big 12's state footprint. These schools help make the Arizona schools' travel requirements more reasonable and they add three states to the Big 12. New Mexico is not a great football school and New Mexico is not a big media market, but that's not the point. A conference full of tough teams is not ideal. Every conference needs its Baylor's and the Big 12 at the end of expansion needs to make geographic sense. It would seem likely that these three schools would be open to joining a sixteen team Big 12.

Iowa State should be dropped from the Big 12. It doesn't make geographic sense.

So, here is the "dream" Big 12

East Division:

Arkansas
Baylor
Houston
Kansas
Kansas State
LSU
Missouri
TCU

West Division:

Arizona
Arizona State
BYU
Colorado State
New Mexico
Oklahoma
Oklahoma State
Texas Tech

The above conference would seem to be able to attract a large TV contract for a conference TV channel plus football TV broadcast rights. This money should be distributed unevenly to the conference teams. Teams that are in bigger media markets should get more money than teams in small markets. Also, teams that are new to the conference should receive more money initially in order to attract these teams to the conference.

Teams would play a seven game conference schedule. That would allow each team to play five non-conference games (which seems ideal). Also, there would be a conference championship game. This would bring in yet more TV money.

It's unlikely that the above lineup of schools could be assembled. However, the conference should strive to form a sixteen team conference built with the above ideas in mind.

Rick Perry's Plan

2011-08-21T13:48:00.000-06:00

UTSA Football Predictions

2011-08-20T19:47:00.005-06:00

I'm looking forward to watching UTSA's new football program this year. My buddies and I even bought season tickets. Here are my game by game predictions:

Sat, Sept 3 vs Northeastern State (big win)
Sat, Sept 10 vs McMurry (win)
Sat, Sept 17 @ Southern Utah (loss)
Sat, Sept 24 vs Bacone College (really big win)
Sat, Oct 1 @ Sam Houston State (big loss)
Sat, Oct 8 vs South Alabama (loss)
Sat, Oct 15 @ UC Davis (loss)
Sat, Oct 29 vs Georgia State (win)
Sat, Nov 12 @ McNeese State (big loss)
Sat, Nov 19 vs Minot State University (really, really big win)

So, I'm predicting a 5 and 5 finish for the Roadrunners in their first season.

In addition, UTSA is scheduled to play Baylor in 2017, 2018, and 2019. That will be three wins.

Disc Golf Video

2011-07-27T08:40:00.001-06:00

My First Car (Old Picture)

2011-07-19T19:09:00.001-06:00

New Comic

2011-04-21T21:28:00.000-06:00

This comic was inspired by true events.

Disc Golf Video

2011-04-03T14:09:00.001-06:00

Bad Things About Pycon

2011-03-11T13:33:00.004-06:00

This was written for a coworker who was bummed out about not being able to go to Pycon this year. The views expressed here are possibly slightly exaggerated for comedic effect.

1) Django people. They are crazy. Avoid at all cost. If you don't know why, go and find a herd.

2) It's held in the same city two years in a row and that city is never Las Vegas. I'll go to Atlanta once. Under normal circumstances, why would I want to go back?

3) You know the people you work with? Imagine hundreds of such people all in one place. Imagine seeing eight copies of yourself in the hotel lobby. Now imagine yourself getting into a fist fight with three copies of yourself. Pycon is mirrored worlds colliding with frightening results and often shards of glass in eyeballs.

4) Guido van Rossum is lazy. The year I went to Pycon his keynote address consisted of him answering questions tweeted to him on a large screen. Would it be too much trouble to write a little something up in advance?

5) Pycon is for networking and schmoozing. Don't expect to learn very much or see too many new things. It's for "pressing the flesh" and what socially awkward flesh it is!

6) All the talk about Python saving the planet (I'm slightly exaggerating) is nauseating. It's a freaking programming language. Get over it. It's not going to cure cancer, it's not going to become self-aware, and it's not going to make you live forever. Other programming languages can be nice too.

7) There are five talks you think look interesting. Four of them are scheduled at the same time. You are able to go to two of the five talks. They turn out to be disappointing and the ones you had to miss were rumored to be awesome. You watch the talks you missed on video later, at home, when they are posted. The audio and video turn out to be poor and the talks really weren't awesome anyway.

8) If you are a single guy and are looking for a cool python chick for a relationship, forget about it. There are attractive women at Pycon. However, they are always mysteriously surrounded by huge groups of smarmy looking guys. Good luck with that.

9) Hipsters. Pycon has them.

Comic

2011-03-07T00:18:00.000-06:00

New Personal Motto

2011-03-01T15:24:00.001-06:00

I'm changing my personal motto again.

"Challenge everything." sounds like a good motto but it's completely exhausting if take literally.

So, my new motto is "All Lange all the time.".

Please update your records.

New Tess Video

2011-02-25T12:46:00.001-06:00

New Tess Video

2011-02-09T14:52:00.001-06:00

NFL Plan

2011-02-03T17:53:00.003-06:00

Instead of playing an 18 game season, the NFL should add 8 teams (for a total of 40 teams) and have 16 teams make the playoffs each year. Also, the NFL should add a second bye week. This would make way more money for the NFL than an 18 game season would. And, players wouldn't have to play two extra games a year. Plus there would be a lot more jobs for players.

Under this plan, the league would have 8 divisions with 5 teams each. 8 wildcards would make the playoffs in addition to the 8 division winners.

Having 40 teams would dilute the league a little bit, the average team would not be as good or make as much money. However, I think it would make the NFL better. The great individual players would have more opportunity to make big plays and have big games. Imagine Barry Sanders running against NFL teams that were closer in talent level to the top college teams. Also, the NFL as a whole would make more money.

In addition to the above, the NFL should add a salary cap with a luxury tax and a rookie pay scale.

Oh, obviously, San Antonio should get one of those 40 teams. = )

Tessmas Video

2010-12-27T10:20:00.001-06:00

Tess opens presents.

Computer Programming Is ...

2010-12-25T18:20:00.000-06:00

New Original Comic

2010-12-24T16:42:00.001-06:00

New Personal Motto

2010-12-24T14:33:00.003-06:00

My first personal motto was "Get out of my way or I'll knock you down.".

After that, I labored under the motto "Whatever it takes.". That motto was particularly successful. While it was in effect, results were up 78.4% and uptime reached six 8's or 88.8888%.

I'm proud to announce that I've changed my motto to "Challenge everything.". Please update your records accordingly. I'm expecting big things from this new motto.

Me Flying a Kite

2010-12-20T14:23:00.000-06:00

Things That Must Happen for the Dallas Cowboys to Make the Playoffs in 2010

2010-11-07T21:28:00.001-06:00

Tess Picture

2010-11-07T20:46:00.001-06:00

I haven't published a picture of Tess in a while. So, here is one.

A Killer

2010-11-07T14:31:00.001-06:00

Divorce Comic

2010-11-05T20:13:00.001-06:00

Latest Comic

2010-11-04T21:09:00.003-06:00

The Comedy Stylings of ConradW

2010-10-28T08:33:00.002-06:00

Suicide Note?

2010-10-03T21:49:00.001-06:00

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/24/mitchell-heisman-suicide_n_738121.html

That's not a suicide note. That is a term paper.

The 10 Best Minutes on My Video Camera

2010-09-09T08:19:00.001-06:00

Happy Labor Day

2010-09-05T22:54:00.001-06:00

Hopefully Not Too Obvious

2010-09-01T17:38:00.002-06:00

Inside Joke

2010-09-01T02:18:00.002-06:00

Don't even try to understand. It's impossible.

Drastic Measures

2010-09-01T01:32:00.004-06:00

Great Disc Golf Video

2010-08-17T17:09:00.003-06:00

Here is some great video of Climo, Feldberg, and Jenkins playing disc golf for skins in Oregon.

Dhoom 2

2010-08-16T18:58:00.003-06:00

Would you like to spend some time staring at insanity? If so, I have the movie for you. It's the Bollywood blockbuster Dhoom 2. This movie is streaming right now on Netflix. This movie would be the result if you put the following things in a blender and turned it on high: The Pink Panther, MTV, the country of India, the X Games, and those most interesting man in the world commercials.

If you decide against all sound reason and good sense to watch Dhoom 2, you'll need a path back to reality. If you have my phone number, watch the movie and call me. I'll talk you back to the part of reality that everything besides Dhoom 2 occupies. If you don't have my number, I advise you to keep a copy of your local paper nearby. After watching the movie, read that paper (every word) three or four times. That should bring you back.

I pity those who get trapped in the world of Dhoom 2. There should be a foundation or at least a support group for helping those people.

Have fun but be careful. Do not fall into the abyss.

Dissecting a Sign Seen in Eden, Texas

2010-08-16T14:44:00.004-06:00

I saw this sign in Eden, Texas over the weekend. I don't understand it. The text at the top says "Experience the Blessings". The "D" in "EDEN" has a fruit with a bite taken out of it. In light of what Eden is in the Bible, what could it mean? It must mean the sign is encouraging people to come to Eden and eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. However, when Adam did that, God wasn't happy.

And unto Adam He said: 'Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying: Thou shalt not eat of it; cursed is the ground for thy sake; in toil shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life.

That hardly sounds like a blessing to me.

So, it must mean that the people of Eden, Texas don't believe in the Bible. They must be heathens who are encouraging people to "eat of the tree of knowledge" and reap the benefits of that. They must believe in Reason over Faith. That's pretty surprising. Many small Texas towns are very religious. However, it looks like atheists everywhere have a home in Eden.

Bad Disc Golf Basket Location

2010-08-16T14:41:00.002-06:00

This hole was at MacKenzie Park in Lubbock, Texas. It has to be the worst basket location I've ever seen. It's very possible to throw a shot from the tee box and end up 5 feet from the basket with no chance to make your next shot. Not cool.

A Couple of Tess Movies

2010-08-10T08:01:00.000-06:00

Not My Finest Call of Duty Moment

2010-07-28T11:28:00.001-06:00

Video is from my point of view.

Picture of Tess

2010-07-20T07:54:00.002-06:00

I haven't had a blog post in a while. So, here's a picture of Tess that my brother, Kevin, took:

Good Luck With That

2010-07-05T17:40:00.001-06:00

http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/N04171136.htm

From the link: "We are creating a popular bank and are going to issue a communal currency: little pieces of cardboard," says Salvador Rooselt, a soft-spoken 24-year-old law student and community leader who often quotes Lenin and Marx.

What? Welcome to crazytown?

2010-07-05T17:09:00.004-06:00

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/07/05/nasa-chief-frontier-better-relations-muslims/

From the link: NASA Administrator Charles Bolden said in a recent interview that his "foremost" mission as the head of America's space exploration agency is to improve relations with the Muslim world.

That makes no sense.

Iran Introduces Human-Like Robot

2010-07-05T16:56:00.002-06:00

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=CNG.80c425d08e43bd8ab419c2b2bb578795.141&show_article=1

The robot was later stoned to death by a group of toasters for committing adultery with a microwave. The robot couldn't help itself. The microwave was hot!

Go Obama, Go!

2010-06-27T22:09:00.001-06:00

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE65R0ON20100628

I have a suggestion along these lines. Reduce the size of government to that which is proper and the problem is solved, that is, trim the government so that all it does is protect individual rights and Bob's your uncle.

Conrad Vs The Four Horsemen Burger

2010-06-18T21:44:00.002-06:00

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Netflix Review

2010-06-17T19:22:00.002-06:00

Here are some movies I've recently watched on Netflix:

Cannibal! The Musical: This is a movie you can miss. It was only mildly entertaining.
The First Saturday in May: A documentary about the Kentucky Derby. It follows horses (and the people behind those horses) trying to qualify for the race. It was fairly interesting and entertaining.
The Gamers (Dorkness Rising): A low budget movie about a group of people playing Dungeons and Dragon. I thought it had some very funny bits.
Les Paul (Chasing Sound): It's pretty amazing what Paul did with his life.
Michael Moore Hates America: A documentary about Michael Moore and some of his films. I think it successfully shows that Moore uses dishonest techniques to make his movies.
Moving Midway: A documentary about the history of a plantation in North Carolina. I learned a lot about the history of the South and slavery. Worth watching.
No Impact Man: A documentary about a NYC family that tries to make "no impact" on the environment for a year. They give up coffee, toilet paper, electricity, etc. It was an interesting watch. However, why would you give up any of that stuff? Humans have brains and we can invent and use things that make our lives better. Depriving your family of a year of living like a human doesn't seem like the right thing to do to me.
Persepolis: An animated story about life inside Iran during recent history told by a little girl/young woman. It was both very sad and funny. I liked it a lot. I also learned some things.
Protocols of Zion: A documentary about some of the crap that Jews have to put up with from irrational people that blame them for all sorts of things. It's hard to believe some of the things people believe (or at least say) about Jewish people.
Punch-Drunk Love: An Adam Sandler movie that wasn't full of crude and stupid humor. I liked it. It was odd but not bad.
Screamers (The Hunting): A sci-fi thriller. Think Aliens meets Tremors. I didn't like it very much.
The Visitor: I liked this movie. However it's obviously a movie with an agenda. The movie is about America's laws that apply to non citizens. I would like to see those laws changed to be more rational and humane and I think that's the overall message of the film.

Demotivational Poster

2010-06-13T20:16:00.005-06:00

How To Be an Adult: Announcement

2010-06-12T13:14:00.002-06:00

I have notes for 10+ more posts in this series. However, I'm going to take a break from this subject for now. I might pick it up later.

How To Be an Adult (Part 5): Adults Don't Resort to Name Calling

2010-06-09T21:28:00.002-06:00

This is the fifth post in a multi-part series in which I describe some aspects of being an adult. Maybe it will be helpful.

Adults don't resort to name calling. Adults can have long, involved, and even heated discussions without calling the people they are having a conversation with names. It's very childish and not very respectful to call people names.

In particular, adults don't use certain words because they are emotionally charged. An adult won't call somebody else a "moron", an "idiot", or a "racist" for example. Doing so crosses an important line.

Also, an adult won't call people names that he wants to engage socially in the future. Besides being wrong and childlike, it's just not practical to call people you want to be on friendly terms with names. People don't like to be insulted. People tend to not like people who insult them.

To sum things up, kids call each other names. Adults do not.

How To Be an Adult (Part 4): Adults Respect Social Situations

2010-06-08T12:20:00.003-06:00

This is the fourth post in a multi-part series in which I describe some aspects of being an adult. Hopefully, this post will prove as useful as the others in this series.

Adults respect social situations like parties, lunches, weddings, funerals, recreational rounds of golf, etc. An adult doesn't insult a person at that person's birthday party. An adult doesn't ask the bride for a date at her wedding. An adult doesn't badmouth a person at that person's funeral. Etc.

Adults can handle everything that typically goes on in social situations without incident. Adults can have conversations that don't result in ugly arguments. Adults can tease and be teased and not become enraged. Adults can be social without ruining the social situation for others.

Some social situations have special etiquette. Adults can handle that too. For example, I've played basketball every Tuesday night with the same group for years. We have all sorts of rules for picking teams, calling fouls, etc. These rules help make the basketball fun for everybody. Adults will recognize this and respect and follow the rules.

Adults can be social the right way.

Is That How a President Is Supposed To Talk?

2010-06-07T19:10:00.001-06:00

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2010/06/07/obama_seeking_ass_to_kick_over_oil_spill.html

Really?

How To Be an Adult (Part 3): Adults Don't Take Their Ball and Go Home

2010-06-07T15:53:00.004-06:00

This is the third post in a multi-part series in which I describe some aspects of being an adult. Unfortunately, some people really need to apply the lessons from this series in their life.

Adults don't "take their ball and go home". Sure, if you are tricked into going to a Nazi rally, going home once you realize you've been tricked is a good idea. However, if removing your ball from play is a "go-to move" for you, you have too much in common with the Little Rascals. In fact, you might be Spanky and not even know it.

Adults can deal with the normal frustrations of everyday life without turtling. Adults can participate in social situations without having the backup plan of running away when things don't go exactly how they want. People that use "the joy of their presence" as a tool for getting their way quickly find out that their presence is not as big a bargaining chip as they think.

In short, adults realize that if you take a taxi home your problems are also in that taxi and "taking your ball and going home" is not something adults do.

College Football Realignment

2010-06-06T21:18:00.003-06:00

http://texas.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=1091537

The above link is an interesting look at the possible college football realignment. A possible outcome is four super conferences with the eventual national champion coming from one of those conferences and a de facto playoff to decide who that is. It will be fun to watch what happens. Schools from smaller conferences won't be happy about being locked out of the national title game. Also, if a school makes the wrong move, they might regret it for a long time. = )

How To Be an Adult (Part 2): Do the Right Thing Even If You Are Emotional

2010-06-05T15:22:00.006-06:00

This is the second post in a multi-part series in which I describe some aspects of being an adult. I hope these posts prove useful for those who need them.

Adults do the right thing even if they are mad, sad, frustrated, bored, etc. Being under the influence of strong emotion is no excuse for bad behavior. An adult doesn't get to punch a baby because the adult is mad.

If an adult misbehaves when emotional, he's just as responsible for his behavior as he is when he's completely calm and unemotional. In short, emotions are not a valid excuse for bad behavior.

As a corollary, if a person makes an adult mad and the adult says "I did bad because that person made me mad", the adult is doubly wrong. The adult is blaming his bad behavior both on the other person and his own anger. That violates the ideas put forth in this post and in part 1 of this series.

How To Be an Adult (Part 1): Do the Right Thing Even If Others Don't

2010-06-05T15:04:00.005-06:00

So, some people, especially kids need to learn how to be an adult. This is the first post in a multi-part series in which I describe some aspects of being an adult. I hope these posts prove useful for those who need them.

The first rule of being an adult I'm going to mention is this: Adults do the right thing even if other people do not. Adults don't blame their behavior on other people. If an adult does something wrong, he takes responsibility for it. An adult who encounters the bad behavior of others tries to handle that well and gracefully. He doesn't use that behavior as an excuse to do something wrong himself.

As a corollary, if an adult does something wrong, he shouldn't cast about looking for someone else to blame for his actions. If you do wrong, it's your fault and you should own up to it.

As a second corollary, if an adult does something wrong and then decides to apologize for it, he shouldn't point his finger at somebody else saying something like "they caused me to act that way". It's your fault if you behave badly.

Obama Equals Jimmy Carter?

2010-06-02T17:32:00.002-06:00

http://thehill.com/opinion/columnists/dick-morris/100913-obama-doesnt-have-a-clue

Is there any chance he'll be elected again?

Memorial Day Weekend 88 Videos

2010-06-01T11:58:00.001-06:00

What do the Langes do when they meet up at the farm? We play 88.

Prehistoric Lake Monster of Kyle, Texas

2010-05-23T08:52:00.001-06:00

This was a truly hideous beast!

Parrot Secrets

2010-05-22T14:48:00.003-06:00

http://www.cringely.com/2009/03/parrot-secrets/

I mention the above to everybody I know. $400k in one year for a pdf describing how to take care of parrots? Is that true? What similar thing could you write about that would make you some money?

Attorney General Eric Holder Unable to Say Something Obvious

2010-05-15T21:40:00.002-06:00

http://www.ocregister.com/opinion/-248862--.html

Why can't he say that radical Islam could be one of the things that motivate terrorists to do what they do? Any ideas?

Netflix Review

2010-05-15T20:46:00.004-06:00

Here are some movies I've recently watched on Netflix:

About a Boy: Hugh Grant plays a very shallow guy who comes to realize who he is and eventually makes changes. I liked it. It was pretty funny.
For a Few Dollars More: Classic western. Must see if you like westerns.
The Host: Korean horror/monster film. It was ok. Some of the monster scenes were well done.
I Love You, Beth Cooper: I like the idea of this movie a lot. A complete nerd gives a valedictorian speech that gets everybody's attention, including the girl he silently has had a crush on throughout high school. Hilarity ensues. It's not a bad movie.
The Men Who Stare at Goats: A George Clooney flick. I didn't care for it.
Metropolis: A visually interesting anime sci-fi film. I liked it. It had a reasonable plot and some decent moments.
Much Ado About Nothing: Ok. I don't mean to be offensive. However, this movie is gay. Avoid it. Go watch DiCaprio's Romeo + Juliet instead.
Nerdcore Rising: This documentary is ok. Not the best I've seen recently. It chronicals the first tour of a geek rapper named Mc Frontalot. Imagine a rapper rapping xkcd comics and that's what I mean by geek rapper.
The Outlaw Josey Wales: A classic western. I liked it a lot. One of the better old westerns that I've seen.
Pale Rider: Another classic western. I liked the allusions the movie made to other things.
Planet B-Boy: One of the better documentaries I've seen. It is very well done. Watch it with your sound turned up. It follows teams as they prepare for and participage in a worldwide breaking dancing championship. I know that may sound lame. However, it was actually pretty cool.
Sita Sings the Blues: An animated movie about some mythology from India. It was very well done but I had lots of trouble following what was going on. The characters talked very fast and the movie moved very fast too. Also, I'm not very familiar with the stories it was telling.
Spirit of the Marathon: A good documentary about the Chicago marathon.
The Station Agent: I didn't like this movie very much. Not enough happened. It was essential a character movie with three characters. I think I didn't like this movie for exactly the same reasons I didn't like Lost in Translation.
Timecrimes: I thought the main charater in this time travel movie wasn't believable. He was very dumb sometimes and very smart other times. He probably could have avoided all of his time travel problems if he had just watched Back to the Future a couple of times before the events of the movie. Having said all that, I still kind of liked this movie. It tried. The plot was complicated and interesting.
Waiting for Guffman: I didn't like this movie too much. The cast of this movie has made several movies. A Mighty Wind, Best In Show and This Is Spinal Tap were better.
Who the #$&% Is Jackson Pollock?: A tough old lady buys a painting for nothing. She battles the snooty and arrogant art community trying to prove it is a Jackson Pollock. Her experts come up with pretty good evidence that it is but that doesn't matter to some people.

Oh. I almost forgot. I urge all members of the US Congress to add all the above movies to their Netflix queue as fast as humanly possible, if not faster.

GregH Is Nobody's Puppet

2010-05-15T20:03:00.001-06:00

Scores Posted For SA Open

2010-05-10T21:36:00.002-06:00

http://www.sanantoniodiscclub.com/saopen.htm

Here are the scores for the disc golf tournament I played.

I urge Congress to "act quickly" and view these scores "immediately".

Why Does Obama Always Want Congress to Act Quickly?

2010-05-10T20:05:00.001-06:00

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0510/36989.html

He said the same thing about health care reform.

Posted Without Comment

2010-05-10T19:26:00.003-06:00

Kevin James

Bob Costas

Elena Kegan, Supreme Court Nominee